Friday, September 4, 2009

Facing My Limits

Excerpt from 60 Days: A Spiritual Guide to the High Holidays, by Simon Jacobson. ©Copyright The Meaningful Life Center, 2009. All rights reserved.

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"The Baal Shem Tov taught that everything we see, whether good or bad, is really a reflection of ourselves. If it was not, we'd simply not see it.

This phenomenon is part of a merciful way that G-d has of teaching us lessons in life. Most of us have a difficult time hearing from others that we have a flaw which we ourselves don't recognize. Therefore, G-d sets us up to have a confrontation with a person who exhibits that same flaw in some form. We see it and we say "how terrible." But then it dawns on us that we exhibit the same behavior, though perhaps in different form.

The same is true for positive things. We recognize a positive characteristic in others because we have it in ourselves. If we didn't have any element of it, we wouldn't recognize it.

In other words: You are what you see. And you see what you are.

Many Jews living in Germany in the 1930s didn't recognize the evil of the German people because they had none of it in themselves. They couldn't fathom that anyone could murder them in cold blood. If you are incapable of a crime, it's impossible to imagine that someone else is capable of it.

There are atrocities that we can't even relate to because we're not capable of doing such a thing ourselves.

The same is true for goodness or holiness.

Many of us are cynical because we never met anyone truly holy or truly pure. So we don't believe that it's possible to be that way because it's not part of our own experience..."

I probably shouldn't be copying these things here in my own blog, but I referenced the copywrite, so I hope that works. I just couldn't not include it here. Today this came in my email and it was so perfect for what I'm going through.

This week has been quite an emotional roller-coaster due to a situation I have ongoing at work. It's been the hardest thing I've ever had to face and the perfect thing for me to face, reconcile, and heal. It has everything to do with my own limits, taking care of myself and making a priority out of what is truly important.

What the heck!!? Didn't I learn all this already this year? Yes and no. Right away after finishing surgery, even before I was radiated, I was once again pushing the river until I drowned in it. And it's such an important lesson for me: take care of yourself, you are just out of cancer treatment and not even celebrating your canServersary yet!!!!

Don't push yourself beyond your own sense of safety. That's the lesson. And yes, I've eaten some crow realizing just how much I'm complaining to myself about something in someone that is simply a mirror of my own reasons for slipping up. And truly I got lost because I could not see or believe certain things due to not having those traits in myself.

I loved this article my brother-in-law, Paul sent me:
"My Brain on Chemo: Alive and Alert" By DAN BARRY
I think you'll like it too. It's quite a great article on how easy it is to revert back to our old behaviors and ways of thinking.

The Israeli folk dancing with the kids at PCS this week was great fun. (Nice having the fake boobs too and looking somewhat normal.) Since Aimee & Jason weren't in the class and were so mortified that I was there doing this, I didn't let the class know who my kids were. They seemed to enjoy the dances and thanked me afterward and one asked if I was coming back! Aimee and Jason couldn't believe they really liked it. "They were just joking, Mom!"

So, that's your update. I hope you enjoy your long weekend!!!