This morning I didn't feel like getting dressed or showered, my energy is really low. Plus my tongue feels so yucky. I always get a white coating on it after chemo but it goes away by the 2nd week. This chemo though feels a bit worse in that area. Nothing I eat tastes right.
So I decided to get on the computer and do insurance billing despite how I was feeling. Doing billing makes me feel stronger and even a bit wealthy. I've been toying with the idea of having my cleaning woman come every week instead of every other week now while I go through chemo and after surgery. (I mean, what better time to give myself something like that?) So feeling like I have a bit more money will help in the negotiation with Geoff on that one!
I felt so lucky to have Geoff yesterday because I was feeling lonely but it didn't occur to me to ask him to watch TV with me until I felt really lonely. (I think he rather enjoyed the fact that I wanted him.) He never gets sick, so I wasn't worried about catching anything from him. I miss my kids though. Anyway, he's making me meatloaf for dinner tonight which I'm looking forward to. He gets the kids ready for school. He drives them everywhere and goes to every game and never complains about taking them (only about the coaching & refereeing). In fact, he really enjoys being the hands on dad. He also reminded me that I wasn't just depressed yesterday but have normal feelings about a horrendous situation. (If I could just get him to do a thorough cleaning job in the kitchen, I'd be fully happy with him! No, seriously, I'm getting my cleaning woman for that! But maybe I could get him to make vegetables and not just meat and potatoes...)
So after doing billing this morning, I called Bailly to see if she could come visit today. (See, I am learning to ask for what I need.) I knew that sometimes on Mondays she has a free second or two! And I was right, after she cleans up for her husband's class, she's coming over. Then I took a shower and felt so much better getting out of those chemo pajamas and tossing them in the laundry, that I thought I'd write you too.
It helps me to know you are there and you care and I'm not alone. Thank you Joy for taking Aimee to school this morning. I'm so glad to have people I can count on when I'm not feeling up to stuff. I know I haven't been real great at asking for help, but I am learning. Thankfully, it's been a warm rain and I have no reason to go outside today.
Thanks for being there!