Actually I am nervous. I woke up a couple of days ago with the muscles on the left side of my jaw feeling tight when opening my mouth. Think my teeth were clenched through the night? I think I'm just nervous because I haven't had this chemo since the first time I had chemo and had been given all 3 of them (A,C, & T) and ended up in the hospital.
With the T, you have to take Decadron twice a day on the day before, the day of and the day after. It's an anti-allergy type of medicine... I'll start that this morning with breakfast. Actually, I've heard that the T is easier than the A & C. And the A & C have been very easy!
In Santa Cruz they have this place called "WomanCare" where they offer lots of free stuff for cancer patients. One of the things I requested is something they call, "Sister to Sister". It's where they match you up with someone who went through the same thing you are going through now and they are available to you on a weekly basis. I had my first talk with my match a few days ago.
She had her second recurrence when she had kids the same age as mine are now. That was 10 years ago. I told her about my hospitalization and she told me she couldn't even do the A & C due to constant throwing up. She also couldn't take the decadron for the T. I told her about my guilt and she told me that she had a stage 1 when her kids were in Kindergarten and 3rd grade and then a stage 3 seven years later. And a mastectomy after being very diligent with her mammograms. She said it's very common and told me to just tell people when they ask how you found out, "I felt a lump and got a mammogram."
Well, I'll have to think about that. Maybe I'll use that line when I really don't want to go into it with a particular person. Anyway, it was so nice talking to her.
My cousin Joanie also told me about a national group that matches you up with a support person who went through what you are going through: Breast Cancer Network of Strength. They match you with a volunteer who has survived the exact same cancer you have and they are a wealth of information about everything while giving emotional support. Their number is 1-800-221-2141
So I already have one person who said she might be able to visit me during that 4 hours tomorrow and I welcome anyone else. I should be there between 9:30am and 1:30pm. And if you can't make it this time, I have 2 or 3 more times when I'll have to sit for this chemo. I'll go to lunch with Geoff afterward and then to visit the radiation oncologist for the first time. I had an appointment with her after my first chemo, but missed it because I was in the hospital.
This morning I get my port blood draw and then I go to see my acupuncturist. She's also teaching me QiGong which I am enjoying incorporating into my daily exercise. (My uncle sent me a study where people who exercise do better by 2/3rds.) I also want to stop at the herb room today to get some Eucalyptus and Tangerine essential oils. I got myself a diffuser with my dad's gift card to New Leaf at Bloom. Jason's coming down with another cold and everyone's got colds since we've had so much rain and the Eucalyptus in the diffuser works to kill the germs in the air and tangerine is for cheerfulness (supposedly).
And talking about rain, we had some hail yesterday and it was so exciting! Aimee was outside in the backyard with her umbrella and bare feet. Next she tried stepping on the hail with thick socks on. She loved it! And she took photos too. Then she went in the hot tub.
Jason's been wowing us with his basketball talent and getting his picture in the paper and doing 360 lay-ups. If it weren't for Jason (who's a freshman) his varsity team would be nothing. In fact that's why he never gets taken out of the game. He's lucky to be at a school where they have more brains than athletic ability so he can be a leader. (He hates this story now that he's older but I'll tell you anyway: when he was 3 years old, he came up to me holding a couple of balls and said, "Mommy, I love balls!") I'm pumping him with Chinese herbs, Aminovirox, and Elderberry extract so he can kick this cold out of his system.
One more thing - about Geoff - can't leave him out! He told me I was brave today and that he'd be curled up in bed crying. Valentine's Day was interesting for me this year because it was so easy writing a card to him. I have been feeling more gratitude for him than I have ever felt in our entire relationship. He read the card and thought I was faking it!
Well, I'm off to eat breakfast and take my decadron. I'll probably write again tomorrow once I'm back from chemo. One thing I'm really enjoying in this rain is the electric throw blanket I got at Bed, Bath and Beyond before chemo even started. Thanks for the suggestion, Doris. I'm also enjoying the microwavable heat pack that Glenna gave me that sits on my lap when I'm at the computer.
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